(Introduction)(Dial.1)DIALOGUE 2(Dial.3)(Dial.4)(Dial.5)(Dial.6)(Dial.7)(Dial.8)(Dial.9)(Dial.10)

(Dial.11)(Dial.12)(Dial.13)(Dial.14)(Dial.15)(Dial.16)(Dial.17)(Dial.18)(Dial.19)(Dial.20)

PRAYER

DIRTY_C: I don’t feel very well. My heart is very strange.

CLEAN_C: What is happening?

DIRTY_C: Everything annoys me, I have no patience, I can’t sit down, I can’t stand up… Whatever I do makes me feel worse and worse. I cannot agree with people on anything, so I decided to avoid being with people. I feel like being on my own, but then it doesn’t help much either.

CLEAN_C: It is soul sickness, I am sure. There must be something God is trying to get through to you and you are not listening. Have you been speaking to the Lord, especially about it?

DIRTY_C: Whenever I try to pray I find myself talking alone. Then, I am tempted to stop talking to God. I cannot talk to a wall. It seems I can’t get through to God and a wall separates me from Him. I can’t read my Bible either. I feel accused all the time. The worst part, however, is that I can’t figure out what to do.

CLEAN_C: That explains a lot. The irritability is not the main problem you’re having. When we are far from God and He is trying to bring us closer to Him by showing us what separates us from Him, we usually feel as you are feeling at this point. We feel like a duck far from water in the desert sand. We feel we do not belong there and we can’t find where we belong. It is just too obvious that anything shall annoy us then.

DIRTY_C: How can I solve that problem? I am already too tired to think about a solution. Besides, it seems I can’t find a solution for it anywhere. I get annoyed even with myself. All I wish to do is sleep and sleep and never wake up again.

CLEAN_C: If you could at least talk to God and be heard, then you could be taken out of it and be led out of any kind of problem. But, if there is no contact between you and the Lord, there is another problem we need to take care of first and above all. Your other problems cannot be considered problems at this stage at all, mainly for two reasons: some of these problems might be a mere consequence of the main one; and even if they weren’t, first things must come first.

DIRTY_C: Oh, I can’t see how shall I ever talk to God and be heard! It seems like a mirage to me! I believe God who doesn’t want to hear me. I think He needs to fix that problem from His side. He leaves me alone talking on my own. How can I solve a problem which is not mine? I talk to Him! He is the one who doesn’t talk to me.

CLEAN_C: The Bible says it is our sins which separate us from the Lord. It is true it is God who refuses to talk and even to hear. But, He wouldn’t refuse to hear or to answer for no reason.

DIRTY_C: I believe it is the Lord who does not want me anymore. Maybe I have sinned beyond forgiveness. Maybe I sinned too much or one of the sins was too big a crime to be forgiven. I don’t know. Why else would God leave me alone this way, I mean, without a clue as to why I am left alone? Why would He ever abandon me this way?

CLEAN_C: I am sure you haven’t taken time to think about your sins and bad deeds. You are too obsessed thinking about your many problems and you haven’t put some time aside to deal with what you should deal with thoroughly: your sins. You cannot put your life in order unless you leave your problems as they are and put your whole heart into confessing your sins and your sins only. Do not ‘confess’ problems at this stage. It just won’t work!

DIRTY_C: How can I ever think of leaving my problems unsolved? They demand an urgent solution from me and that is precisely why I find myself demanding the solution from God because I can’t find any on my own. The Lord just doesn’t care about me anymore!

CLEAN_C: You see? You are so obsessed with your problems that even when you talk to God all you think about is the problems you have! Doesn’t God deserve any better? Why would He demand from us more and better than that?

DIRTY_C: What do you mean?

CLEAN_C: God said that if we seek Him we shall find Him. He didn’t say we would find a solution to the problems, but Him. Even though God can solve any kind of problem, our motives should be to find Him and Him alone. If you seek Him to find something else, surely He won’t listen to your prayers. You shall be considered a liar. You need to take a stand against yourself and against the solution of all your problems so you can find God for what He is. Unless you do so, nothing will be added unto you. In fact, you won’t find Him who is able to add all things unto us.

DIRTY_C: How can I find God? You mean I will see Him, find Him in such a way that I can touch Him? I mean, have him really around all the time? Why does it seem to me you are preaching a fantasy world to me?

CLEAN_C: Jesus said once that the clean of heart shall see God, Mat.5:8. After you see Him, then you could talk to Him about anything, don’t you think? Then I am sure He will answer. “I cried unto the LORD with my voice, and he answered me”, Ps.3:4. The answer is the whole point of prayer! He may say yes or no to our requests. We know we cannot ask something from somebody if that person is not around. I know most prayers are made to an absent God. It shouldn’t be so at all. The best part of prayer is that He talks back to us and grants us real answers as well. We may even become aware of what goes on inside His beautiful heart. If He is not pleased with what we ask Him, we shall surely know about it too. Don’t you think this is a life worth trying?

DIRTY_C: And a “no” is an answer?

CLEAN_C: Surely it is! God can answer by saying “no” to any of us. He said a kind of a “no” to Paul once. I believe He does that so we know He is still with us and, also, so that we shall not lose time feeding false hopes to keep them alive. And if our heart’s desire is indeed God’s will, we shall rejoice whatever the answer is. A “no” makes us as happy as a “yes”. However, behind every “no” of God, I am sure there hides a certain kind of “yes” to something else far better than we can think of.

DIRTY_C: And if God is saying nothing to us what could be happening?

CLEAN_C: We may never walk a step ahead without knowing for sure if God is indeed with us. If God is not with us, we shall be an easy prey. If He does not share in our ways we should never dare to give another step ahead and neither backwards, whatever we must do at that point. He must know our ways for real. We should not throw experience away and neither step forward. We must be quiet and find God first instead of making any rush decision. And, if we have a real relationship with God, we must wait for an answer. We must not only expect it, but must wait for it as well. Unless you give time for God to answer you, you cannot expect God to be happy about the whole situation. If you call somebody you expect that person to answer you, right? God deserves even a better treatment than the one you give the person you call upon. We cannot do our own thing after enquiring God about something. We cannot expect less from God than what we expect from mortal beings. God needs to say something even when I have the wrong request in my heart. Any kind of prayer which receives no answer cannot be considered a prayer at all. It is far better to have a “no” from the Lord than no answer at all. The important part of the prayer is the person we talk to. God deserves the respect of all prayers. He promised to grant answers to all our prayers. We should, therefore, wait for answers.

DIRTY_C: This is too complicated for me to understand. I can’t even pray for my pastor. I don’t feel like praying anymore. I am discouraged and in deep despair. It feels I am deeply disappointed in God.

CLEAN_C: Anyone who cannot trust God surely trusts himself a great deal. You need to find out what is separating you from the Lord and you need to do it urgently. I don’t believe that what you are going through can be described as normal at all. Praying and not be answered cannot be seen as a normal thing ever. What would you think if there was electricity and you turn the light on and there is no light at all? Can you think of it as normal? Wouldn’t you call upon the electrician?

DIRTY_C: In your view, what do I need to do for God to hear me? What did you do? I mean, you are talking as if all your prayers find answers!

CLEAN_C: You need urgently to be on your own and alone in your room. Once you are there, close your door behind you; leave all your problems and cares outside that closed door. You must change your motives when praying to God; and the reasons you uphold to find God must change. You must seek God for the sake of God only, for the sake of the person He is and that alone.

DIRTY_C: I hate being alone. But, at this point I hate being with people as well. I cannot understand myself anymore.

 CLEAN_C: But you need to be alone with God, at least for a while. Then, get a pen and a few pieces of paper, sink down on your knees, inquire God about what separates you from Him, and write down all sins you may have committed ever since you can remember until today. Separate between sins you committed alone and by yourself from those you committed with or against people. You may separate even further religious sins such as idolatry, witchcraft, spiritism and the like.

DIRTY_C: And after I have them all written down, what shall I do with them?

CLEAN_C: After you have done that you need to find those people you sinned with or sinned against. Plead for their forgiveness and plead the Lord to forgive you after you have done that. If you have committed religious sins you must break with them renouncing them in the name of the Lord and burn everything you still have in your possession that links you back to those sins. This is what putting in the light is all about. By walking in the light and by exposing your sins to God and to people, God shall surely straighten your ways – each one of them! If you go to people, care to tell them what you are doing and why you are confessing your sins.

DIRTY_C: But, God knows each of my sins! Why should I confess to Him what He already knows about? And suppose I have slept with my neighbour’s wife… if I confess to him what I had done with his wife he would kill me on the spot!

CLEAN_C: Even if he did kill you for that reason God would regard that as being persecuted for the sake of righteousness. Anyway, I believe you need to find the woman and have everything cleared between the two of you instead of looking for her husband. God sees such sins in another perspective, I believe. Humans say adultery is committed against a husband or a wife. I believe God sees such a sin as transgression against yourself and against the person you committed it with. You have sinned with her and not with him. If, however, God leads you to talk to the man, you should do so without fear. God is leading, right? And you can never forget that God leads from the moment you start putting everything in the light.

DIRTY_C: I am not saying I have slept with her at all. I was just supposing. And suppose I don’t do that as you are telling me, then God shall never hear any of my prayers at all?

CLEAN_C: No, He won’t hear any of your prayers, I am sure. The Bible says that only those who confess their sins and leave them altogether shall find mercy. It means, shall find God. Unfortunately, people are tempted to do things their own way especially when God is not leading or is not blessing. Then they blame God for not being with them as they hoped He would. Don’t do that.

DIRTY_C: This is very interesting. Perhaps you have a point there. I still need to talk to my pastor about this, though. He is the only one I trust. I cannot afford to take your words as infallible.

CLEAN_C: You mean you are going to ask the opinion of the pastor who never taught you this? How can you lose your time consulting flesh and blood about things as these? Why don’t you go to the Lord instead?

DIRTY_C: I cannot trust my own opinion. And how shall I know God will indeed answer me?

CLEAN_C: You need to get God’s opinion on such issues as these. Paul didn’t consult Peter when he stumbled over truth. Why should you consult someone who is not even as Peter? He said: “I did not consult with flesh and blood”, Gal.1:16.

DIRTY_C: I am afraid if I ask God for His opinion He won’t answer me. Sometime back I asked Him something about my job and I prayed the whole night and there was no answer. The problem was very serious, and yet He still said nothing. I felt about God as Ball’s prophets felt about Ball when they were praying for fire to come down and to consume the sacrifice Elijah defied them with. There was no answer from heaven. I felt that way.

CLEAN_C: I agree it is very sad when things happen as you say. I found out myself that the saddest part of my sinful life was when I had no answers to prayers. I would pay anything, do anything just to have a word from God and that for the sake of that word only. I wouldn’t care anymore if He granted me my request or not as long as He spoke to me. Now I am sure God answers all prayers. I believe God did not answer you concerning your job’s problems because He did not see it as the main priority then. Cleansing your life stands up in the top of all lists. God will answer to that as long as there is still time.

DIRTY_C: If God hears you, could you plead for my pastor’s life? He is going through a hard time and asked the church to pray for his needs.

CLEAN_C: Saving or helping others at this point is not a priority for you at all. You need to fix your own life first and leave you pastor to his problems. We must know it is one thing at a time. You wish to talk to God about your pastor and God wishes to talk to you about yours sins. You cannot dare to go against God and going into a side track is as good as going against Him! It is suicidal. Jesus said that the Kingdom of God is like a man who went and sowed on his own field. Why would you think it is to sow in other people’s field? Why would you lose your precious time inquiring God about such things which are not the priority on your list? Jesus needs to clean you of all your sins first and right away.

DIRTY_C: I love my pastor and he asked us for prayer. I think he is a lot like me at this stage of his life. I think God is quiet towards him during this difficult period.

CLEAN_C: Why would a pastor ask for prayer in church concerning basic material needs? Why didn’t he do that alone and ask God on his own? Isn’t it, perhaps, the same as saying, “Please, give me something as you pray for me”? Maybe he is asking for more than prayer from you guys. And that is enough reason for God not to answer him or us about him!

DIRTY_C: What do you mean?

CLEAN_C: If he asks for prayer and mentions his needs those people should pray for, he might be expecting people to give the answer and not God. 

DIRTY_C: I have seen him pray for other people and even for the sick!

CLEAN_C: And why would God not hear him in secret then? “And your Father who sees in secret shall Himself reward you openly”, Mat.6:4. If you ask believers, you are not asking God. And God answers those who ask Him with faith.

DIRTY_C: Ok, I understood that. We could ask God for him, couldn’t we? That would be “asking God”.

CLEAN_C: Why would you care to pray for your pastor if you already said God does not hear any of your prayers?

DIRTY_C: You are confusing me again! I must go!

(Introduction)(Dial.1)DIALOGUE 2(Dial.3)(Dial.4)(Dial.5)(Dial.6)(Dial.7)(Dial.8)(Dial.9)(Dial.10)

(Dial.11)(Dial.12)(Dial.13)(Dial.14)(Dial.15)(Dial.16)(Dial.17)(Dial.18)(Dial.19)(Dial.20)